August 4, 2010: 11:15pm
If I could just talk to her, I’m pretty sure I would. At least I tell myself that—but odds are, I would still choke. That’s just the way I am—when I’m not on. Oh, but when I’m on, I mean, when I’m really feeling a connection with someone, it’s like…it’s like something takes over me and I’m someone else entirely…someone who’s so smooth and confident that, well...that Silas is very popular and has no problems with “the ladies.” I don’t have a split personality, I swear...but—problem is, that Silas isn’t the real me—at least not 24/7. The “real Silas,” the one who shuffles his feet, has a hard time getting into places, and shackles himself to impossible standards only an imaginary father might impose, this—this Silas Locke would give anything to learn of the Other’s best-kept player secrets.
September 12, 2010: 5:06am
She finding me irresistible is now the least of my worries. Shockingly enough, touring her apartment was actually her idea. And dinner almost every night? Maybe the Windy City has blown good fortune my way yet again? I keep telling myself it could all be gone tomorrow.
October 20, 2010: 3:48pm
Something has gone terribly wrong. I can’t say much more right now—at least not written here for all to see. And Ava is still sick. Caught sickness going around I guess. I do hope she feels better soon. Many of her online friends wrote get-well-soons on her wall. I did too. Her friend Clara from England is amaaaazing. More on that prospect later…she seems very sympathetic to our mutual situation.
If I could just talk to her, I’m pretty sure I would. At least I tell myself that—but odds are, I would still choke. That’s just the way I am—when I’m not on. Oh, but when I’m on, I mean, when I’m really feeling a connection with someone, it’s like…it’s like something takes over me and I’m someone else entirely…someone who’s so smooth and confident that, well...that Silas is very popular and has no problems with “the ladies.” I don’t have a split personality, I swear...but—problem is, that Silas isn’t the real me—at least not 24/7. The “real Silas,” the one who shuffles his feet, has a hard time getting into places, and shackles himself to impossible standards only an imaginary father might impose, this—this Silas Locke would give anything to learn of the Other’s best-kept player secrets.
September 12, 2010: 5:06am
She finding me irresistible is now the least of my worries. Shockingly enough, touring her apartment was actually her idea. And dinner almost every night? Maybe the Windy City has blown good fortune my way yet again? I keep telling myself it could all be gone tomorrow.
October 20, 2010: 3:48pm
Something has gone terribly wrong. I can’t say much more right now—at least not written here for all to see. And Ava is still sick. Caught sickness going around I guess. I do hope she feels better soon. Many of her online friends wrote get-well-soons on her wall. I did too. Her friend Clara from England is amaaaazing. More on that prospect later…she seems very sympathetic to our mutual situation.
